sister

the answer you gave me
was filled with sad acceptance
matching the morbidity
of my unannounced question

do we choose to accept it
have we come to terms
that those we were close too
have and will be further away

our once close relation
has been shifted
to second thoughts
and derelict memories

those we trusted
with guarded secrets
spent long days and nights
rebelling in our youth with

have come to an end
the seemingly eternal flame
smothered by reaching proximity
by the unravelling myriad of time

the guilt we feel
wondering if our lack of effort
is the direct result
that makes us so ill

have we let them down
are they no longer worthy
do we deserve their forgivness
or did we make the right move

was our growth too much
outweighing the bond
that kept us down
never to progress

did the ambition
we tasted and soon devoured
become the downfall of us
our signed fate declared

my breath filled
with drink that night
you looked down
and then at me

“friends are still friends. even when proximities are increased. when character is discovered. bonds can be mended. when the time for growth is completed. and fires, fires can always be reignited.”

i was a fool to question
something i should’ve know
the answer to
thank you, sister

false front

are you tepid to the truth
or just slightly aroused
by the notion of deceit
to lead you ahead
with unbridled gratitude

does your skin itch
when the temperature rises
exposing character flaws
that dampen perceptions
to undervalue you

has your hand started trembling
as the stories are unravelling
with lights shining over you
now their screaming for blood
sad to say you’ve been bone dry

for years

monarch

if i called you now
i’d ask how you are
if your hair is still blonde

i’d recall summers
in small towns with friends
walking from one point to another

does your aunt still live
in a basement apartment
with broken windows

why did you never talk
about your mom or dad
where they were or weren’t

why you were interested
in me being around
as your world shook

the friends you kept
or left behind
wherever it is you are now

are you in the big city
i know you went north
before heading south

are you in-between
situation
or soul

do you look back
as often i do
to figure out the past

have you thought about love
has it found you at last
or have you avoided it

do you still cry
when you think about
that winter night at the park

the way the air smelt of smog
the old streetlights
reflecting off the snow

the summer morning
i came to see you
but you never showed

the bookstore
where i cursed you
before giving up

i’d like to ask
if you’re happy
if you’re safe

i’d like to be
in your circle
but you’re someone i can’t reach

present restitution

are you safe
did you come up
empty handed

are you farther
now then you were
when you started

do you see now
what was stopping
progress back then

do you keep looking
back on the past
with resentment

will you become
more bitter daily
or is that done now

will there ever be
a way to change
the years before

you lose everything
when you give in
to replaying regrets

you have a new eye
in the now of it all
to accept the past

what’s done is done
what comes next
can only be better

what makes you anew
is that you were broken
to be rebuilt upon

the soul continues onward
with compassion alongside
prospects of eternal fruition