turn back

you smoked cigarettes
i never asked why
i just pretended
like i understood
that i didnt mind
the taste of your tounge
afterwards

most things about you
appealed to me
but i suppose
it faded eventually
like your will
or demeanor
never appearence

i played with your hair
as smoke pillowed
filling my eyes
with tears
as you looked me over
intrigued by my distaste
of love

our dynamic
was lust
through and through
we never confused it
we didnt let it dictate us
our blood ran cold
seperated

as i ran through
street lights
in dark nights
momentary lapses
of disbelief and desire
never lead me to turn back
to your side of smoke

or lust

but from time to time it comes up

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