unaccounted for

i’m missing something
i don’t have the information
the defining cause
of what let this unravel
slipping through my hands

it’s what grabs my attention
at the beginning of the day
when i first wake up
i struggle out of bed
letting it consume me

by noon
it travels back
popping up as my eyes trace
the remainder of the day ahead
never letting me forget

by the time that dusk covers
i sit awake in the dark
replaying actions of the past
trying to find what went wrong
keeping me awake till dawn

it’s been months of this
i don’t think i’m getting any better
but at the same time
i don’t think i’m getting worse
being alone to think

about what was lost

discussion