Author: ace mars lest july

soft touch

if you pull
a little tighter
on these strings
my arms and legs
will move to your will

if you jostle them
left and right
ill obey too
however you wish
forever again

but if you pull
upright
harshly
vigorously
the force will break me

the strings
run deep
flowing through
encasing my structure
leading to my heart

one by one
the strings will
break apart
rip out
bleeding me dry

broken in
riddled out
a shell
of my former self
undone, by your hand

echoes

have my words fallen on deaf ears
my voice becoming an echo
repeating in softer tones

do they exist for me alone
being sent off to none
to come across as mistakes

such little space taken
but measured in time
spans years, decades

did i listen to you then
when i read your words
feeling my core shaken

maybe it is all an attempt
feeble and cheap in appearance
just to resonate with you

it would be foolish to stop now
its become a part of me
like it or not

ill yell at the top of my lungs
in the comfort of my room
only to hope you glance at me for a second

in between

do i need to find it?
who i am.
is that a real thing anymore.

did my happiness depend on you?
yes, it’s why i’m broken now.
my foolish dependence.

was i holding myself back?
being content with mediocrity.
forgoing self-improvement.

moving on, waning off of you.
those feelings hooked onto my skin and soul.
my hands still tremble.
rendered useless by failing emotions.
concerning myself with your well-being.
thinking of you when i should be more concerned with myself.
the blame is on me for the downfall.
but it’s easier to put it on you.
but unfair and unjust.
i hate the feeling of being the cause.
i never looked at the moon and wondered, will it end?
i was confident and ignorant in my bliss.

but i’m slowly coming back to myself.
my creativity pumps in my blood.
rewarded quickly for changes.
it will motivate me – gradually.
i have faith in myself.
i’m not cured and i still pine for you.
but less now, infrequent.
distracted by others and acts.
it flows through me now.
this new wind.
my nature has always been to reminisce.
foreign to look ahead.
do it for myself.
rely on myself.
i’ll be whole again.

i’ll finally be me.

medicine

if you were my medicine
would I forget you at night
if you were my medicine
would we get in a fight
if you were my medicine
would I be alright

could you save me
from myself
could you change me
to someone else
could you fix me
up again

if you were my medicine
would you put me to bed
if you were my medicine
would you get out of my head
if you were my medicine
would I be normal again

could you help me
get better
could you tell me
it will
could you let me
fail

if you were my medicine