ace mars lest july
as the anxiety eats away
overloaded in my place
live another day
see it on my face
fading fast, faster now
my trembling hand
a foriegn failed plan
no way to command
a dated lifespan
going aimlessly, far away
step down below
havent gotten right
take it too slow
see it in a new light
casting shadows, along freely
strings tightly wound
motion for a pass
what can be found
broken bits of glass
puzzle pieces, bleed to succeed
feverishly awaiting the cure for my infirmity
i saw her walking out of my local coffee shop and i couldn’t waste this chance meeting to talk to her. i walked across the street and moved in front of her. she stopped full tilt and took a step back.
“uh..”
“hi. how are you?” i said smiling ear to ear.
her lips squished and her eyebrows raised, “do i know you?” her eyes glancing over me.
“well sort of,” i let out slowly, “you know of me. you actually played me in a short film you made in college.”
a puzzled expression fell over her and she spoke sternly,”right, okay – well i have to go. thanks.” she began walking down the street.
“another time then? i’m around here quite a bit!” i shouted out to her.
she took her phone out of her pocket, dialled and raised it to her head and began talking while walking away, glancing back at me twice before turning onto another side street.
a woman with a small child, who i’m quite sure had witnessed the entire encounter, gave me a queer look and walked by quickly.
“she totally knows me!” i shouted reassuringly to them.
how odd.
finally
i can welcome change
hard work
determination
recognized
rewarded
collect
broken pieces
of the promising past
putting them together
back on track
again
review
ideas on paper
blueprints
plans for the future
promising promises
progress
oversight
with two new gains
an old one
once full is lost
my heart
empty
truly
the only one
that meant anything
i worked longest
kept closest
extinguished
who am i
without my heart on display
still one with a future
but things change
i can welcome change
finally
all it took
was two small doses
down the hatch
rain striking my window
my eyes shuttered shortly
fighting the remedy
stretching out
giving in
letting it take over
found misplaced
in a foriegn land
at an uknown time
stronger gravity
rain just the same
but i cant remember
as hard as i try
it evades me
the happiness i felt
to no avail
can i place its orgin
but the end
i remember
the shaking
my mind ejecting outward
waking in a sweat
what seemed like minutes
hours had passed
seven after midnight
the rain still striking
i reach down for two more
i seek not the morning hours
i swallow slumber
but i am met
only with darkness
no escape
nothing
i wake again
to the rain
of a new day
cured
i start with something that makes me angry or confused, and then i write about it. it’s a form of self-help.
– brian k. vaughan