wavering lunar cycles

was the moon with you tonight
while i was around town kicking the street

it never lit my way
while you let its beams soak into your skin

the stars were lonely in my view
but shimmered with you in delight

as i sweat under streetlights
your company kept you content

the night chilled me to my core
the conversation kept you warm

ill see the sunrise
as you say goodbye

tonight the moon will catch my eye
leaving you the starry sky

but i wont spend my time
wasting it inquiring

keeping to the beaten roads
returning to the reliable

retain

i’ve been playing catch-up
with the hollow memories
that could have been

toying with the idea
of deprivation
before reconciling against

lackluster emotions
among reminders
on calendar days

if i could
i would have
tossed it away

but it bears itself
worth repeating
these are mine to keep

release

i get preoccupied
the work in front of me
gets blurred
with the conversation
in my ears
turns to a high pitched ring
my breathing slows down
for just a moment
i escape

in this period
i can run away
let go
rejuvenate myself
casting off hatred
accepting consequences
letting the current caress me

but it doesn’t last
the moment skips
my heartbeat hastens
my breath catches up
the rings fizzle
my vison comes to focus
i return
to the truth

i tell a lie
so i can sit in silence
i clear my desk
to remove distractions
i breathe in slowly
to settle myself
but i can’t relax
i can’t escape

two way

when we used to talk
so freely honest
never missed a thought
it was an open promise

well my mistake
when it was over
for it to break
to see what was leftover

i wish i could
see your breath
never would
have suspected a soft death

when those walls
came down
whole heart falls
my voice left to drown

your guard is up
im so estranged to you
there wasnt a blowup
its like you knew

quiet lightning strikes
leaving me torn
when my heart spikes
everytime i mourn

unproductive

will i ever take a break
from tiring myself out
thinking of yesterday
and the day before it

every moment i lie awake
spent wasted on the past
its unbreakable binds
that keep me in place

when my mind
should be elsewhere
looking to tomorrow
and the day after it

but i lose track
hours fly over
leaving me to wonder
if your tired too

as the sun rises
for me to waste
another day
into another night