ace mars lest july
was it easier to forget
long before it was easy to remember
to look over what was said
just dwelling on past regrets
did the timeline ever shrink
to move on, get over
expanding with the future
continuing to transpire
to remove it from existence
feels like a lobotomy
never wanting to lose
what never was or should be
with photographs
still memories attached
all of love transcribed
to kill it now –
as if it never was
plugging away during the day
getting lost at odd hours through the night
making motions to put on display
to try and fend off my fright
the terrors lying underneath my skin
the anger drumming against my brain
a kind that puts me into a spin
that latches on, keeps me in pain
don’t you see it eating away
what’s left of me in agony
the cause of it, is hard to say
stopping me from being so care free
if i could cast away my thoughts
let go of the ones i fought off
just give me a few good shots
nothing to really look at and scoff
because ive
got it figured out now
the last remnants
of the ill fated desires
you’ll believe it when you see it
never could have guessed it would be true
the point you were making comes through
the ferocious temperament of ambition
covered in gold and forgivness
melted compassions flowing away
like lava from my core
hot to the touch
but sure enough
to cure
to endure the trials of your love
before and after, evermore
where was i headed?
maybe my indecisiveness is at fault
standing in place
while you buried yourself under
but you’ll end up ahead
far ahead in the end
in all honesty too
ill be glad about it
if i was at fault
for holding you back
neither of us would be content
in the future
i gained perspective
of what to look for
where to place my feet
the piles to burn through
the actions to take
to get ahead
chances are
it wont be alongside you
but then, its not about you
i am responsible
for my own happiness
my own destination
still twisted with remnants
of desire and delusion
struggling to remember
what was here before
outlines of craft
cravings of past vices
a struggling skeleton
removing piece by piece – until i am restored
not used to your language
mistaken glances towards me
brushed off your shoulders
of dust and integrity
the fog that follows
around the lake
mascarades you
your lingering sighs
short breaths
against long legs
leading you to uncertainty
hand motions to hide
secret codes of intimacy
like kisses on your neck
or cuts along your arms
along the small of your palms
forget about the troubles of today
you’ll ruin your evening
the things you have no control over
letting then run you down
if you could shed you skin
would your bones be blue
like your blood
foreign to the air