Month: June 2017

if i tried to do something uncharacteristic
don’t stop me, let me try

if i let my greed motivate me to attain
remeber my selfless acts, from before

if i become shallow and vain
look past it, my weak ego

if i treat others unkind
feel foreign, to your own skin

if i strike you with anger
grasp your chest, unbruised

if i disgust you with my language
let my old words, heal your soul

i could be any of these things
but i choose not, for myself (not you)

i stopped caring a long time ago
but you wouldn’t know that, you showed me

i don’t know why i was there
keeping my mouth shut, my hands tied

maybe your lips sealed
while your words, restricted

but that was then
now, you are gone

i haven’t fallen out of love
i’ve just let it leave abruptly
it was easier the first time
the next love came quickly
whatever void was left from before
was filled fully mended
but now it’s gone too
it lost hold
with distance over time
let it move on without me
so now this void within
has some temporary visits
but no solid grounds
for permanent stays
the slight fear sets in
the void will stay as is
or maybe grow
staying barren
but i remain
optimistic
that a new love
will be found

is it because everything is new,
that i have trouble etching your face in my mind?
trying to think of how your voice sounds,
how your skin feels against my hands,
what texture your lips have against mine.
will frequent future encounters,
help me with my memory.

it feels like past love,
is still vivid and colourful.

where do i go from here
do i keep repeating the day
keep comfortable in the status quo
not letting anything become disrupted
as the slightest movement has uncertainty
with it comes the harsh pain of change
where my face is unknown to others
my moral characteristics are unrecognized
in a strange place among new people
the teachings that made me now have no value
the slate i had covered is now clean
can i be reforged from the brittle metal i am
into something, someone else

i would have taken you closer
so you wouldn’t have to rely
on robot eyes

i’d protect you up there
from rowdy bystanders
who bruise

you wouldn’t hear me
but you’d smile
i’d know

you could escape with me
the quickest route
back home

we’d stop to eat
laugh about the fools
behind us

afterwards we’d rest
let the late night
cool us

your open window
let the summer hiss
sneak in

our eardrums still ringing
lightly breathing
together

while a small creature
sits between us
kneading

the morning will greet us
with a sunbeam
on our souls