too soon

i could try
but i know i’d never find
the words to tell you
how i truly feel
about you

if i lied
to get you to smile
i don’t think i could
ever be happy
with myself

turning over
pages of memories
none speak to me
the way you
seem to

lost the war
with my hands away
didn’t raise them
to defend myself
against you

i wouldn’t change
any of the ways
i acted against
you talking down
to me

if i lowered
myself to that level
i would have lost
much more now
than i ever had before

if the sun
keeps on rising
you can probably
find me hiding
on the east coast