straight answer

was it another heart beating?
if so, i never heard it.
i never hunted it,
when i was close to you.

was it the distance?
from afar, i adored.
your love dwindled,
until extinguished.

was it the happiness?
i looked for, in you.
the dependence i relied upon,
that you were eager to remove.

was it the build up?
finally, amounting.
the fear of it,
being set in stone.

was it the long nights?
where you, never slept.
i offered assistance,
but you dismissed.

was it just time?
to end, to dissolve.
i kept asking,
but you’ll never tell me.


i made a quick stop to the store
coming empty-handed wasn’t allowed
i was knocking on the door
but the music was too loud
the guards weren’t on patrol
too busy looking at you
to put something in their bowl
as my knock finally came through
a bouquet in hand
to adorn your table
for a dinner you planned
that adheres to no timetable
as drinks are poured
more truths revealed
always inching toward
one another unconcealed
is this the work of the spirits
warming our insides
as you call me dearest
touching my sides
we sit in your backyard
with the crescent moon in our sights
when we get caught of guard
with maisey looking for a fight
even the friendly neighbours
get entwined by your kindness
as you begin to roll papers
i jokingly call you highness
as we take a stroll
to close castles
it all takes a toll
but we continued to be baffled
how this could ever happen
what stars had to align
but we just keep laughing
as we continue to wine and dine


i was on the other side of the province

set to head home in the early morning

you were on the west coast

still drinking in the late evening

you called

i didn’t answer

straight to voicemail


three times

i turned the music off

still heading down highway 7

i pressed play

fireworks in the distance

your laughter

follow by your voice

retelling the night

as i drive by the last gas station

for the next 100km

the kisses you shared

how i’d be jealous

i shook my head

as the message went dead

onto the next

which only had you cursing

which cut out

to the next message

of you saying you missed us

the fireworks continued

the message ended

i turned the music back on

sped up along the highway

as the began to rise

over the horizon

allie pt.2

read pt. 1

“you look the same,” she said letting off a quirky smile before reaching for my hand. the small of her palms showing from her oversized coat.

“you look and smell like a strawberry.” i let off a toothy grin as i clasped my hand around hers.

“well you always said i was sweet, so i figured i would play the part.” she came close to my side.

her hand was cold coming out of the apartment, i wondered if her mom had heat. she deserved better, but never had a qualm about living there. in the summer she slept over at my apartment for a solid week. her father lived in the same town as me and they disagreed about the direction her life was going. so she decided it best to escape to me as things cooled down. i didn’t mind her company, however, i knew it would never be permanent.

“where are we heading tonight?” she said looking up to me, her head barley popping out of her coat. “i’m hungry and i want to be entertained,” she mocked in a fancy dialect letting out a petite laugh.

“i figured we could go to that bar off main, they were advertising a live band tonight in the paper.”

“excellent! onward!” she began to pick up speed as we sloshed through the messy city sidewalks.

as we continued down the road, the occasional vehicle would pass by and she would motion to push me onto their coming path before yanking my hand back, getting closer to me each time. i laughed and kissed the top of her forehead. she smiled and rested her head against my arm.

“i should have stayed,” she said.

“at home tonight? why?”

“no, no. at your place. in the summer,” she explained, “we could have stopped time and spent it in the sun and never had to deal with this cold abysmal weather. even the cool breezes during the night were warmer.”

“if only that’s how it worked,” i said with a smile, clutching her hand tighter.

“you did miss me, didn’t you?” she said her lower lip curving and her eyes staring deep into mine.

“of course, why wouldn’t i?”

“just the way things ended, i didn’t mean to offend you -”

“not at all. it’s water under the bridge. i’m here now. that’s all that matters,” i explained.

we fell silent for a small stretch, her hand still clasping mine and her head still against my arm. i began to think of her and the summer. in reality i blamed myself for what transpired. while staying with me for that week she found out her mother had come back into the state and offered to accommodate her. i asked her to stay with me and we could figure out our lives together. but the chance to start fresh somewhere new, away from her father, was too appealing. she packed up within the hour of her mother’s phone call and was gone before the sun went down. my words fell deaf upon her ears. she called me two weeks later to make amends. i’d been in constant contact with her since. hoping i could get her to change her mind.

as we approached main, the street lights shone down upon the snow, reflecting upon the tall commercial buildings and closed storefronts. we saw no other pedestrians as we turned onto the street. the occasional taxi cab flew by, but the sidewalks remained barren.

“i’m glad you came, i’ve been excited to see you again. my mother was surprised you didn’t bail. i told her you weren’t the type of soul to do such a thing. i was right.” she let off a told you so grin to me and kicked off the slush from her shoes. the shoveled sidewalks along main only bearing a small dusting of the falling snow.

“i’m glad you know me so well.”

as we came closer to the bar, the smog in the sky began to shift revealing a crescent moon.

“it’s beautiful,” she said, “it’s so rare to see the sky in this city.” the moon beams shining down on her as she spoke. “how fortunate of us to encounter it.” she let out a smile as she turned to me.

i took her by her sides and kissed her, as the beams began to hide once more, behind the smog.

west coast

i almost felt guilty
for judging you
when you skipped town
went out west
to forget your problems
cutting all ties
to your old life
making new friends
inheriting new places
to call your own
to erase the ones
you didn’t feel
belonged before

you ran away from family
said no goodbyes to old flames
left no trace of your existence
as the sun set
you left it all behind
through northern towns
the prairies
the rocky mountains
you came to the end
of the country
to redefine
who you are
what you want to be

i know you don’t think about me
when the wind skims your hair
the waves hit your feet
the rain kisses your face
and the moon shines above you
as you walk home at night
it’s probably for the better
to remain forgotten
in your past
for your clean future
to remain intact
as the town you left behind
moves on just the same
with you as a distant memory
far off, away