Category: poem

some people keep receipts
concert tickets
gum wrappers
lip balm containers
old polaroids
but her
she gathered buttons
all different
shapes
sizes
colours
she sewed them
to a fabric calendar
that she kept
in her closet
i stumbled across it
on a winter night
looking for blankets
i went through the rows
each more extravagant
mesmerizing
but upon inspection
of todays date
an empty spot
a terrible thought
came to me
i looked down
to my jacket opening
there, missing
a golden button
i left quickly
before i was added
as another memory
another
memento

you probably heard it
from somebody
but i want you to know
it’s all true
i’m just figuring out
what it is i need to do
countless reasons
have held me up
i’ll give it some time
to sink in for you
but sooner then later
it’ll hit you too
i’m gonna be ready
to strike off
another agenda
on my mind
i don’t know
if it’s easy to define
last night i was worried
now that it’s out
i feel fine
i wrote it out
in small print
to try and hide
now it’s blown up
growing faster
with no end in sight
i guess what it is
i’m trying tell you
is i’m sick of regretting
the past lives
i’ve been resetting
wondering if
i’m doing it right
the clock
has been ticking
my mind’s been on fire
so here it is
it’s not worth forgetting
the time i spent
with my heart
on my sleeve
well i put it back
it might be
hard to believe
so i’ve got
some support
of my own
keeps it beating
when it’s being
mistreated
i’m going on
with everything
i’ve got
it didn’t feel possible
turns out it’s what i want
cause no one owes me
anything
gonna keep on giving
until i can’t breathe
what’s the matter
if what i’m doing
is the right thing
don’t need you now
to keep it alive
got a new tune
to keep a beat to
got a new way
to survive
just thought i’d
drop you a line
it might be sad
but it’s the truth
i’ll still think of you
from time to time
but my focus
is out there
on the future
always waiting
for me to find
the next thing
that will keep
my heart beating
just waiting for me
to arrive

i kept occupied
with what i thought was important
so after i left the city
you became a second thought
i measured our relationship
by the distance we resided
when i was there
you were the first one
i would talk to
would ask to go out
to share a conversation
to confide in
but i changed
i put my priorities
on my heart
let you get pushed back
every once in a while
i would shoot you a hello
a few times we made plans
few of those times
i showed up
i remember i held back
because i was letting my heart down
even when i was enjoying your company
the funny thing
after my heart broke
i turned to you
confided again
came to the city
but it was short
my heart skipped
i went into old rhythms
i repeated my actions
you stuck around
you were persistent
you weren’t letting me go
so i turned my heart
so i could balance
and when my heart broke again
you were there
i regret my past actions
i wasted so much time
being unhappy
missing out
not being apart of your life
it won’t happen again
i’m sorry for not being a friend
when you needed it most
when i forgot your lover’s names
your birthday parties
the times you needed to confide
i’m sorry
those days are over
i’m in it for the long run
my friend, my brother
till the power goes out

a persistent noise
coming from the window
waking me early
a small rattle
followed by a chirp
i rise begrudgingly
to see yellow feathers
fluttering around
i tap on the glass
the rattle taps back
the vigor of this bird
alludes me
i slide open the window
face-to-face
with the small creature
it looks up at me
a single chirp
before it jumps
flies away
into the rising sun
i yawn
and close the window

how shallow do you think i am?
the hollow shell of a man.
lately i’ve been wondering,
what’s even worth pondering?
the times that we had,
be they good or bad.
spending too much time,
thinking of the perfect rhyme.
ain’t no reason for living,
if it’s spent forgiving.
like a cold drink on a hot day,
an exploding star in the milky way,
not thought to be a mainstay.
don’t wanna have my mind in regret,
fashionably late to the show i’ll bet.
keep myself awake at night covered,
waiting for the sun to finally discover,
the missing pieces to be recovered.
my shadow is the only permanent,
never getting into an argument.
i want to see you again,
out in the rain.
leave your truths outside,
with the tears you cried.
this isn’t an apology to you,
it just my heart being true.