love in the 21st century

i would forgive you
easily too
but that’s the problem
i’d never forget

i was focusing on the good
pretending there was never bad
but that’s a lie
our tears were the truth

the progress made
was always slow
in minute amounts
staying as stagnant

even though it was long
it seemed so much shorter
by the tail end
like your smile

the way you shared yourself
but still remained so selfish
for me to feel alone
in my own space

it all seems obvious
in hindsight, of course
but at the time
i would never let go

maybe therein lies the answer
to why i thought we were destined
for more than what was clearly there
but i remain adamant it was more

the nights you and i cried
to one another over fears
to the last night
when we cried together

for the last time

take a breath

stop being so angry
it's self defeating
you can accomplish more
if you start to look ahead

because looking behind
is slowing you down
it's done
set in stone

you've learned
don't dwell
mistakes are made
by everyone

tomorrow might suck
but the day after
it could feel better
make it through today

distract yourself
get what matters
to fill your spirit
to achieve more

time is constant
don't stop now
let each breath
fill your lungs

get moving
no one is waiting
why should you
go find it

who you are, what you'll become
a soul cannot fail, if it's in motion
keep blood pumping, flowing always
let nothing stop you, until you're happy

until you can smile and exhale

pretty one

she goes out for smoke breaks
every half hour
with her dark red lip stick
her smile is never sour

i can only imagine
when she exhales
time stops for a moment
it's just one of her many details

her skins is soft and pale
like a brand new ghost
but she likes her men
quite richer then most

if i shot her a glance
she'd flash her perfect smile
my heart would accelerate
faster and faster, mile after mile

but girls like her
they have other suitors
i'm ill equipped in love
she needs a sharpshooter

so day by day
i'll keep her in my mind
but night by night
it's getting hard to find
another pretty one

retreat

don’t have plans to runaway, though it might be best
to see sights i haven’t laid eyes on

going out to see familiar faces, doesn’t put me at ease
not like it did before all of this

keeping my hands busy only bores me, they feel better idle
or kept at my side in surrender

the creative spark i once had ignited, has fizzled out
smouldered by unkindness

seeing social feeds, of new life and continued love
only makes me miss more

the future doesn’t cast down lights, but covers roads with nightfall
as i graduate towards the next

there are no second chances, to retrieve the past
it slips away to easily

like a novel written thoroughly, with the end chapters missing
all for naught it seems

the words and the memories written, now just as worthless to you
as the time spent creating

far off lands look comfortable, if only as a means of retreat
but i’ve never been known to leave

unaccounted for

i’m missing something
i don’t have the information
the defining cause
of what let this unravel
slipping through my hands

it’s what grabs my attention
at the beginning of the day
when i first wake up
i struggle out of bed
letting it consume me

by noon
it travels back
popping up as my eyes trace
the remainder of the day ahead
never letting me forget

by the time that dusk covers
i sit awake in the dark
replaying actions of the past
trying to find what went wrong
keeping me awake till dawn

it’s been months of this
i don’t think i’m getting any better
but at the same time
i don’t think i’m getting worse
being alone to think

about what was lost