ace mars lest july
it truly is a shame to repeat
that time is and always will be
an object of which we will never
have control.
i always find that when my eyes
are open taking it all in
that time slows down to display
lifes beauty.
however, when i close my eyes
time decides to gain momentum
taking no mercy on the experiences
i’ll miss.
when i do get a chance
to look at the beauty around me
to longingly admire it
i cherish.
with so few minutes left in the day, will you waste your breath in anxious jargon?
do you just cast your eyes to something more appealing then what you witnessed last?
how many memories of the past run through your eyes when you could look anew?
will you grip your hands tight in anger, knowing you can’t stop time?
you might do any one of these things, but friend – fear not.
you will live to see the next.
just remember that fateful day,
when it is your last,
to waste it not,
but to embrace it.
doubt and unease sits underneath
my ribcage.
panic and turmoil rumble throughout
my stomach.
pain and agony pulsate around
my skull.
are there remedies to these
conditions?
do the have an answer to my
problems?
how will i ever make it in
life?
when will i get to escape from this
being i am locked inside?
i had a dream last night, i rarely ever do.
you came over to my house – it was the first time i saw you in three years.
you still had that uniqueness about you, i envied it.
we went into my room and sat down on the end of my bed.
you had made a movie of your life and you wanted to show me it.
it showed how you lost when you were younger.
it showed the compassion you had for others close to you.
but when it came to us – it was all just fiction.
we were climbing a tree talking about our lives.
it was in a field with no one around us.
the feelings i had for you then stirred inside me as i watched.
after a few minutes of talking with you i fell from the tree,
and the movie went to static.
i looked beside me to see you – but you were gone.
a note was all that sat beside me.
as i grasped it – it ignited.
i woke up.
i don’t know what happened in the dream – i don’t know what happened with us.
all i know for sure is your gone and i’m still here. and i know why.
six am deserves my eyes, waking up next to you would be such a nice surprise. but your father’s health and your mothers smile, keep bouncing in my head with denial. well with winter gone and spring now here, when will there be time for us my dear.
the morning wind is brisk and fine, sweat drips down my back as the sun tries to shine. the newspapers say the town is doomed, i just thought it was something that everyone assumed. when i come running up to you on your front porch, with your embrace like a burning torch.
afternoon naps with the weather, as we watch the crowded streets together. your fathers coughs and maniacal laughs, while he informs us of statistics of love on charts and graphs. and dinner tastes like it smells, as your cats look onward from their miniature cells.
suddenly i feel the moon, days like these make may seem like june. and the quiet sounds that we hear, looking constantly for something to appear. but these calm summer nights, lead to so much more than city lights –
the stars just shine for us to keep on moving along.