satellite thoughts

what goes through my mind
when i go out
with the sunset
as the beams
from the moon
shine behind clouds

mostly,

i think about my failures
my mistakes
incorrect actions
lost loves
fragile relations
prospects of growth

out of my control
yet still lingering
repeating themselves
as i kick the earth
filling me with despair
blocking my future

it doesn't slow me down
i keep my pace
even as i burn
my legs begin to swell
chest tightens
lungs struggling

i look up
ahead of me
to more curves
of the suburbia
minor lights emitting
from closed homes

do they see it
the anguish
in my face
as i rush by
their dimly lit windows
and doorways

i doubt it
they have their failures
on their minds
over poor actions
or lost loves
and damaged relations

i suppose it's futile
to focus on the past
and let it ruin your future
but it motivates me
it keeps me going
onward nightly

but as the moon reveals
its true body
i wonder
as the sun sets
does it contemplate
why it should emerge
to overtake the night

does it look out
to see lost souls
it wishes to assist
so that by morning
we can all just try to forget
why it was we struggled
with the past regrets

discussion

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