bland mountain

the reds and yellows
go by quickly
but the greens
stick
heavy clouds
in the night
pitch black
drive
what keeps you
awake
as smooth jazz
plays
small bumps
shudder you
the digital clock
has a static
hum
forehead against
cold windows
distant headlights
fading in and out
of view
only to come
near
blinding
before disappearing
rapidly
never alone
on the empty road
cherish it
these quiet times
the solitude
of the drive
home

having trouble finding
what it truly takes
to get you out
stop you
ruining moments
of intimacy
of enjoyment
of freedom
without being present
evermore frustrating
the lack of sleep
toiling hours
of the morning
spent
in cold sweats
reminiscing the past
holding it too highly
your regards
were never given
just assumed
not forgotten
or forgiven
for me to recount
hard to leave alone
what i lacked
control
conscience
concord
held you highly
enough for me
to rely
lose myself
to you i wonder
do i haunt you
holding you back
but i know
otherwise

she collects horror films on VHS
she likes dead things on dead formats
dyes her hair pitch black
though she's blonde naturally
she never puts on lipstick
her lips are red enough
still has her blockbuster card
denounces the internet
on the weekends
she's at the flea market
picking up animal skulls
she's always wearing black
even in her dreams
her ex boyfriend always
looked like he owned a yacht
i think she was trying to be ironic
she hates bands and live music
only listens to the soundtracks
to her favourite slasher films
i've never seen her wear socks
always open toed shoes when she's out
the texas heat might be a contributing factor
she has no intention of going to the alamo
dresses her dog up like sally field
from not without my daughter
though she likes her more in forrest gump
drinks pepsi exclusively in the summer
then goes to 7-up when she's feeling down
one day i'll meet her
when she's walking downtown
i'll come up and say hey
what are you doing around
but i'm sure she'll take one look at me
laugh turn around and say
you're far too easy
then she'll go home
play super mario brothers three
turn off the sound
listen to the soundtrack
to halloween two

time’s up sweet heart
don’t give me that look
you’ve known from the start
that’s the chance that you took
wasting your tears
getting hopes up
you knew my fears
now it will blowup
i couldn’t commit
with my heart in pieces
i hate to admit
my value decreases
whenever i try to find
something to fill the void
i have trouble trying to unwind
cause my hearts still destroyed
so move on to better things
keep your eyes on the future
someone out there with a shiny ring
a fine proper suitor
who would be exactly what you seek
takes you out and travels the seas
he wouldn’t be as fragile and weak
as me with this heart disease
i’ll leave now while i still can
you can call me names you’ll regret
remember this was part of the plan
so it’s no use being so upset
just carry on now
nothing left to discuss
you’ll get over quickly somehow
always cursing just to cuss
forgive me but i really must go
into seclusion to seek what you know
study my shadow
watch it grow
figure it out
to match my soul
see what it’s about
try to console

cause the only regret here, is that you didn’t believe
that i’d disappear, as soon as you misconceived

what we were or would ever be

she’s got a pet wolf
lets him run freely
obeys her every command
attacks all the men
that have treated her wrong
chews on their bones
till the marrows all gone
she made an exception for me
cause the tables turned
her heart rejected my love
she feels sympathetic
creature was kind to me
i’d toss him old bones
from ex-lovers remains
walks in the park
always perceived as strange
she lets me visit some days
while she’s out
with future bones
as the creature and i
play into the night