bland mountain

its easier
to get upset about the past
and harder
to change your own future

but staring at walls
counting the minutes
letting life pass by
changes nothing

just letting the sun caress you
the winds whisper to you
the sky diluting you
is enough for you to lose

what you could have been
in the days coming
someone whose been found
instead of someone whose missing

something has changed
but i can’t place it
the void hasn’t been filled
uncertainty still exists
but the anxiety
has dissipated

i’ll attribute it to ignorance
but maybe it’s more
deeply rooted
obscure in nature
invisible to keen eyes
shied away from honest critics

its put a smile on my face
made me feel better about past mistakes
let me take it easy, for now
as i get my affairs in order
take out the worries of tomorrow
so i can rest easy about today

if i stick around, maybe it’ll rub off on you

as i turn on the corner
near city hall
by the empty fairgrounds
to a quiet suburban street
with noise in my ears
i cruise the sidewalk
i duck as i pass under
blooming cherry blossoms
illuminated by moonlight
i first catch your eyes
green and shining
under the streetlight
you were sitting down
at the end of the driveway
beside a white picket fence
covered in rebirthing vines
you were black as the night sky
as i came closer
you followed my movement
your head tilted in curiosity
pondering my intentions
at first i left you alone
you seemed more puzzled
i stepped back after passing
for you to look up
step back
fan your tail
to welcome me
with a gentle
“meow”
then licked your lips
i sent off a smile
continuing on my way

i was always told
to beware of black cats
especially on midnight strolls
the bad luck they bring
if they cross my path
but i believe
they have no ill intent towards me
as long as i leave them be
happy little creatures
that prowl the night
a friend among the moonbeams

you kept your secret in the sky
like some scathing alibi
never giving any reason why
so we all just took it for granted – that it was just a lie

how wrong we were about you
about everything you could do
like the colours in your hair – every word you said was true

like the rough patches under your skin
get cut away so thin
letting so much of your blood spill – without ever giving in

it must have been that shine in your eye
that fooled us into thinking it was a lie
how terrible it is then – that we did nothing but let you die

sorry for the ignorance
wish we had another chance
to bring you back from the dead – so we could have just one more dance

you haven’t seen much of me
not like i was around
been running the roads
got torn up late last year
guess you could say i was on the mend
made a few pit stops
tried to figure out some things
couldn’t get past most of it
yeah, still clings on to me
had a few chances to get rid of it all
decided to hold on
you know what they say about letting go
its harder then it seems
my heart doesnt have an endless reservoir
but sometimes it likes missing more
ran into someone to catch my eye
but i wasn’t worth their time
taken back by my minor asides
so i just kept going on
looking for something to pass me by
as the rains of the spring
fade away from yesterday
the summer heat begins to set in
ill hit town again next morning
try to find my head
throw out my arm in frustration
draw attention to myself
dont want to become another face
that you’ll come to forget
if i can’t fit in place
i’ll keep on moving on
keep searching for what i’m looking for
after i figure that much out